I thought wrong, you probably do too....

Let Jebby paint a picture for you....

I wake up one morning to the fresh smell and sound of crackling bacon. 1 week later and 2 dates in from a run-in with a cute Latina in the cereal aisle of my local supermarket had granted me my first coital encounter. As she hands me my delicious breakfast she goes out of her way to tell me that I'm the best "coitus" she's ever had and how I really know how to use my my "ping ping". At this point I'm sitting atop the world soaked in my very own machismo. No one is as cool as I am, I'm simply badass.

I sit down at my computer. Before I can digest my first bite of scramby eggs I make the mistake of clicking on a youtube video I put in my favorites months ago:



It took less than 3 minutes for me to crash back down to earth. The moral of the story? I'm not a badass. You're not a badass. But Jack Krauser, he's pretty much the prime example of badassdom.